I copied some questions
and I interviewed myself
Last month, two incredible people—Traci Thomas and Greg Mania—came together for an interview. I liked the format so much that I decided to post my own answers to Traci’s questions.
What are five words to describe [Crying in a Foreign Language; The Deities that Answered My Plea]?
Closets, fear, libidinous anxiety, love.
What is the strangest thing you googled while researching this book?
I have a spreadsheet full of my research links. I went deep into Japanese history, queer theory, different views of sex and sexuality in history, and the HIV/AIDS pandemic. Thanks to the incredible people at the King County Library System, interlibrary loans gave me some of the best material. The first pamphlet describing safer sex techniques, for example, was produced not by the CDC but by the San Francisco Abbey of Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence way back in 1982. A friend of mine—thank you, Elvis!—also walked into the San Francisco Library to find a 1963 reference for me: The Lavender Lexicon, a seventeen-page dictionary of queer lingo that predates Stonewall. Fun fact: that document had been donated to the library by out dyke pioneers Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon. (I was trying to find out how old some of the more racist terms for different attractions, like rice queen for Caucasian men into Asian men, were.)
What are three books that are in conversation with your book?
Yikes. I don’t want to draw direct comparisons to my writing heroes for fear of invoking a hubris disaster, but from a format perspective, my memoir is inspired by Maggie Smith’s You Could Make This Place Beautiful. Armistead Maupin’s Tales of the City series, books I started reading back in the 1990s, undoubtedly inspired my writing style. And it was Body Work by Melissa Febos that inspired me to be as true to my own sexual experiences as possible.
Describe your ideal reader?
People who need to reconnect with their inner strength.
What is the one thing you can’t write without?
Community. Whether it’s my husband and family, the people who’ve been beta readers, people in my co-writing groups, people in the Seattle Writers Group, or people who have been in classes and workshops, readers and other writers buoy me.
What is a piece of writing advice that you’ve received that you think is really bad? What is a piece of writing advice that you think is really good?
It’s hard to name a bad piece of advice. If something doesn’t resonate with me, I promptly forget it.
A great piece of advice has been to think about who your audience is and who your audience is not. I can’t please everyone, and knowing in advance whose criticism means nothing to me has been very empowering. When this newsletter began (before I joined Substack), a relative said he found my writing “too graphic.” It was liberating to look them in the eye and say, “I’m not writing it for you.”
What are you reading right now? And what book are you desperate to read next?
I’ve been away from books for a few weeks, and I’m itching to dive into All The World Beside by Garrard Conley.
As for next? The six writers in Greg Mania’s proposal workshop with me are all writing excellent memoirs. I can’t wait to see their words published. (I won’t share their social media accounts until I clear it with them.)
Who is your dream collaborator and what would you make?
I imagine a day when my memoir takes to the stage as a plaintive, affirming musical, and the songwriter I’d want most to work with is Sara Bareilles.
What book are you an evangelist for?
I read the original in Japanese, but the English version of My Brother’s Husband by one of my all-time favorite manga artists, Gengoroh Tagame, translated by the highly talented Anne Ishii, is just as powerful. This book tells the story of a Canadian man, widowed after the death of his Japanese husband, who visits Japan in the hope of finding some closure with his husband’s family. Sad, joyful, and hopeful, My Brother’s Husband depicts a changing Japan and reminds me of my love for my husband (and my in-laws).
If you could not be a writer what would you do?
Writing is my passion after hours, and I’m lucky to find vision and meaning in my day job, too. Before writing started occupying every non-work hour in 2020, my hobby was macro floral photography.
Although that website needs a major overhaul, many of my photographs live here.
And my side-side passion is graphic design. I sell t-shirts, buttons, stickers, tote bags, and more here.
Who is your literary crush?
When it comes to the New York City sense of humor I grew up loving, I’d have to say I have a platonic crush on Benjamin Dreyer, author of the helpful Dreyer’s English.
You’re invited to a literary potluck. What are you bringing?
I will wheedle and cajole my husband into making his delicious matcha-infused Basque cheesecake.
Other News
I have updated my auctorial website and included a link to the overview that begins my new proposal. Thanks for checking it out!
Really fun interview Brian. Great questions.
I love this idea. I may answer these questions myself.